14 Feb 2014

San Valentín

Are you celebrating Valentine’s Day? If so, check some of the annoying behaviours that may be in the cards if you’re involved with a Spanish man. For the record, this is just a fun exercise based on my experience (direct and indirect) and it focuses on douchebag behaviours, so Spanish men out there, please don’t get offended, I know you’re not all the same!!

Picture courtesy of Steve Evans
Forgetting the celebration
‘Did we say we were going to go out? Ah, I forgot, he says, but we can still go somewhere if you want…’ Thrilling.

No heels

He doesn’t want you to wear heels because he’s too short, instead wanting you to wear the most unflattering shoes you can find. Being a woman, you feel sorry for him and comply.

Misguided compliments
These can take two forms. There’s the half offensive half complimentary type, like ‘I don’t really like stunning girls, I prefer someone like you’ and the one who candidly describes to you the type of woman he likes and this is exactly the opposite from you.

Being too cool
This links to the previous point. The nuance though is that you both are expected to be so cool that you don’t care about the other person talking openly about how attractive someone at the restaurant or bar is because it doesn’t matter. It can get nasty more quickly than you think.

The reluctant “celebrator”
He’ll go for dinner with you to celebrate Valentine’s Day but will complain all the way through about how commercial the whole thing is. A total joy-killer.

Being funny
He makes offensive jokes about women around you because they’re wearing provocative clothes, they’re too fat or too old for their liking. His excuse: he’s talking about ‘other women, not you,’ so there’s no reason for you to get offended. It can give you a depressing insight into his mind.

Splitting the bill
You both agree the best approach is splitting the bill but he takes is so far as to make sure you straightaway pay him back the two euros he paid for your orange juice at the bar.

‘Are you crazy?
Yes, in Spain we give two kisses when we greet someone (except when men greet other men) but the two kisses don’t need to be intense and accompanied by a tight hug, no matter what he says when he meets his best girlfriend when you’re out and they half-make out in front of you.

Losing focus
You’ve been out for dinner and a drink and as you wander to the next pub or just go for a walk he runs into a mate and forgets you’re supposed to be hanging out together, just the two of you. In his eyes, the celebration is over and you may have to accept this and join them for a drink or find your way home by yourself.

I think next week I’ll have to write about the nice things Spanish men can do on a romantic night out, just to compensate for this post…